...man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.

I Samuel 16:7b

My seven-year-old Jamie was invited to a birthday party of a classmate, Liora.  I sat and chatted and sipped coffee with some of the other parents, while watching the kids enjoy the fun.

Liora's mother was an attractive young woman with smart looking black hair, her blue eyes accentuated by modern purple glasses frames.  I noticed that she seemed rather distracted and lacking in joy at her own daughter's birthday party.  In fact, to me she seemed rather uptight.  As I watched her, my mind said, "Loosen up, girl!  Smile a bit!"  And I went on to think of her as an unloving mother, probably begrudging the party, intruding into her career.  I smugly thought, "stay home and enjoy your kids like I do."

Less than a year later, I encountered a woman in the supermarket.  Most of her face and left jaw had "caved in" leaving her mouth disfigured.  Her hair was short and graying.  Then I saw the purple-framed glasses, and inwardly gasped.  She turned and saw me, and I collected myself.

"Hi, you're Liora's mom."  I said.  She managed a weak smile and said, "I'm surprised you recognized me.  I've had a rough year with several operations for cancer.  It looks like I'll still have a long road ahead." I don't remember how that conversation progressed but I do remember my thoughts on the way home.

I was now looking at this woman through new lenses.  Now I saw her self sacrifice and love, giving her little girl a birthday party, in spite of great facial pain and probable great fear.  Here she was fighting for her life, perhaps knowing that her pretty face would soon be carved up to rid it of a deadly growth, and I was watching on, thinking that she should "lighten up!"

Now the shoe is on the other foot.  I suffer often from sleep deprivation and it usually shows on my face (I even scare myself when I look in the mirror!)  People could misread that look and sometimes do.  "Did what I say upset you?"  I've been asked.  "Goodness, no!  I just didn't sleep last night and my eyes show it."  I feel like wearing a sticker on my forehead that says, "I'm not angry, just tired."

I confess that often I've misread, even misjudged people.  Yeshua wisely said, "Judge not, that you be not judged."  Just as I want to be given the benefit of the doubt, I must do the same for others and extend grace.  If you see a sad, tired face, see if you can pull out a smile and see the sweetness there.

READ:  Matthew 7:1-5

LORD, help me to be more like you in your tenderness and compassion.  Help me to feel people's pain and respond with sympathy and grace.  Keep me from unfair and unjust thoughts or words.  Let Your love flow in me and through me!